Sisterhood of the Traveling Sidewalk

The excitement coming off of Valentine's Day had me questioning if love was truly in the air. My friend met a match a speed dating, and my other friend showed me her gorgeous engagement ring while we chatted about the wedding to come. But most importantly, New York and I were back together if only temporarily. It was like the honeymoon phase all over again. I was walking around headphones in, camera in hand, just remembering why I fell in love with it in the first place. I'm blessed to be able to consider it home. However, once it was time to go back to real life and the high of our love affair started to fade away, I began revisit to my question of if love was truly in the air started to feel like perhaps not.

My friend's speed dating match turned out to be a dub. And get this, while I was leaving New York, another friend of mine was travelling in. Traveling for the weekend to celebrate a birthday in her other friend group, my friend who at the time was in a relationship (coincidentally the same amount of time that my other friend that got engaged) broke up with her boyfriend as soon as she returned. Honestly, I was shocked when she told me, but once we talked about it, it made sense. She referred to herself as a lover girl, and when she was met with a dry response upon her arrival home, she felt that this was in fact not her lover guy. To be clear, this was not just a one-off thing that made her do this. Her decision to break up with him came after a string of multiple incidents and conversations where she stated her desire for more emotion. She had already cried all of her tears.

Not even just exclusive to her situation, but sometimes, regardless of how beautiful, dynamic, funny, talented, and intelligent that you are, and no matter how much kindness and empathy that you extend to a person, sometimes people just cannot appreciate what they have until it's gone. It's a lesson that unfortunately most, if not all of us, even the "perfect" ones have faced in our lifetime, including myself.

As a (former? because I'm not even sure where I stand on the issue anymore.) lover girl, and hopeless romantic (former for sure), I completely understand her though. Relationships will have their ups and downs, and you can't be up all the time, but people should at least try. At some point, I did want the flowers, the handwritten cards, the poetry, the gifts that represented anticipating my needs, showed me that you were listening when I mentioned something in passing, or just thought about me and wanted to make me smile. I wanted the well-planned date nights until we needed walkers, and I wanted to be chatty patties until we died. Something with a lot of passion but also peace and tranquility which would require being on the same page. But these days, I'm not even sure if love in itself worth it.

The other day I was just thinking about the concept of best friends and how I don't really feel like I have one anymore. I have great friends, and to be honest with you, I consider my friends more family than anything, so this definitely isn't a slight to them. But I remember growing up and having clear-cut distinctions (because children are finnicky lol) of who was my best friend. My first ever best friend is this one girl that I don't even talk to anymore, but I still remember her phone number by heart to this day because of how much I used to call her on my grandma's phone. I really do miss the concept of having a best friend. In elementary school up until about 6th grade, I remember being excited to go to school damn near every day. People always assumed it was because I was (and still am) a nerd that just got good grades, but truly it was because all of my besties were there, and I knew I would get a good laugh out of the day. Once 6th grade hit, things started getting super serious. I had to start getting ready for high school, and then once I made it to high school, I was focused on getting into college, and so over time the excitement and the smile faded away. And with that so did the concept of best friends. After that, there were just sisters with whom I shared many laughs but for a fact was in the trenches with (still am damn near), and from college, a brother with whom I shared many common struggles. With that being said, in the spirit of trying not to let the devil win, if I were to ever even consider dating someone seriously, I'd most definitely need my partner to be a friend. However, I'd only get married and start a family with someone who could reintroduce me to the concept of having a best friend.

Sending joy and luck in love to my sisters (and brother lol) mentioned in this post connected to me via the traveling sidewalk, and for those reading who weren't mentioned, I send the same to you as well.

Love,

Princess <3