Rest & Create

To me, the true nature of divine feminine energy is subjective. By definition it is the receptive energy, which again, I believe can be subjective. On my own journey to learning how to be more in my feminine energy, I've tried many things in order to reach that optimal Empress status. I tried yoga and meditation, a maintenance routine which included hair, nails, and lashes about every two weeks, dancing, and much more. It wasn't until recently where I stumbled across a definition that helped completely shifted my perspective. I read a tweet that basically talked about how people aiming to reach optimal divine feminine energy can get caught up in the beautifying aspect of it but really, it's simple, just rest and create. 

Although I did say that I wanted to have fun while in New York, I've been working super hard. Don't get me wrong, catching up with my friends has been fun, but between writing, taking photos, and of course, curating the tunes it's been feeling like a work trip. Even with all that I've accomplished, I'm still not done. I still have one more ish disposable camera to go, and then I've gotta go get my photos developed and do another post that hopefully ties all of this trip up with a cute little bow. With that being said, a week just wasn't going to cut it, so I decided to extend my trip. Hopefully with a little more time, everything will get done. 

The whole time I've been staying with my friends I've been trying kick this blog up a notch by pushing myself to learn the DJ equipment that they have, and posting mixes, but I haven't been successful. Why you ask? Because my body and my mind have been screaming at me to rest. I realized that for now, I don't need turntables to be a DJ. Every time you come to my page whether you're just looking at my photos, and especially if you're reading the blog and clicking the links, I'm putting you on to some music, and that's what a DJ does, she provides the tunes.

 

The only thing I've been wanting to do since I got to my friends' place is smoke because I'm so tired and anxious. I know what you're thinking, what's wrong Princess? Well, this. I'm resourceful, but I want this blog to be great. You all get to see and listen to the finished product, but a lot goes into this. This blog requires me to go out a lot, do my hair, do my makeup, get my nails done, and dress nice. There's also transport, and a decent place stay that inspires me to write (so I'm not imposing on others) and gives me some solitude to recuperate from working and those nights out. Lastly, I have to be able to take care of myself. My skin care routine, healthy food, water, and the gym are all necessities here. Inflation is at an all-time high, but as a woman that truly believes in her talent and her ability to do this for a living, I have to take a stand on going back to regular jobs where I hate the work and am just doing stuff for a check. That's a waste of my time and everybody else's. 

I am lucky enough to have graduated from a good school and have some unique experiences under my belt, so I reached out to some connections to see if they'd be interested in doing like a distribution deal to publish the Princess Diaries exclusively while having me as a staff writer. I'm just worried about being able to remain authentic. I would hate for someone to be like we only need dating content. Or even worse, taking something out of my post or being forced to post a song I don't truly like. I've spent the better part of my life people pleasing, and I can tell you that I'm no longer interested in that. I want to produce a project that is not only authentic but has integrity. Hopefully there's an editor out there that truly lets me be myself. Regardless, I'd be half crazy not to acknowledge that my options are wearing thin. 

On another note, I wanted to take a moment to thank y'all for y'alls love and support thus far. Y'all have been so kind and generous with your words and donations, so I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate it. I'm currently staying with friends but I'm hoping to be back in a hotel soon. My friends have a cat (Rocky), and I'm a bit allergic. Well, a bit is an understatement. My eye swole up so bad, like in a way I had never seen before. I was gonna take a pic, but I decided not to. I should have though to commemorate the moment. Although things are unfolding slowly, the tides are turning, and I'm starting to feel the love. Allergies aside, I am super grateful to my friends for letting me stay with them. It's given me more time to work to basically get a decent body of work, and ensure the quality matches my standards. 

Fingers crossed for a good outcome, and hopefully for the next week, a good time.

With Much Love & Gratitude,

Princess